Tags
bestfriend, besties, enemies, Friendship, happiness, hate, heartbreak, ilovehim, life, love, lust, nightowl, peace, sadness, thestruggle, wisdom
This ones for you. The person who tore me apart when all I asked for was a shoulder to cry on. All I needed was someone to be there for me when I most needed them. A person who was selfless and had no judgment toward my actions. No judgment towards my life,.. My mistakes. My passions. No judgment towards me. Or us. What we were 0r what we could have become. This ones for you because all I asked of you was to be my best friend. We imagined how things were going to be in the years to come, we imagined how things would be in the months to come, weeks, even days. We knew each other inside and out. Everything. We knew our weaknesses, our strengths. We knew how to make each other laugh, and cry, how to push each other’s buttons. Although, we never did. I never did. I was there so selfless to our friendship. To you,.. To everything that we were. I was ready to be by your side. I was ready to be your best friend. Your best “man” at your future wedding,.. As much as you were ready to be mine. What went wrong? I loved you. So much. I thought that I knew you. I thought that we were better than that. Better than all of the lust, the gossip, the negative vibes. I know, perhaps, I may have hurt you. I know that maybe you wanted more. I know that you wanted more. You were selfish. You didn’t want me and you didn’t want anyone else to have me. You didn’t want me to be happy, you wanted to find your own happiness in my sadness. You told me that you wouldn’t ever leave me. That you would be there forever. You lied. You took yourself, along with part of my heart and soul, and you ran with them. You cut me off. You neglected our friendship all because you felt different.. You felt like if you couldn’t have me then you didn’t want to have me at all in any way shape or form. And that breaks me. That broke me. That made me feel like I was nothing to you. How could someone who speaks so great of you and loves you so much just leave? Just leave and leave no trace. Leave no room for question. Leave so unexpectedly when I need them most. When I’m trying to find myself.. And now I’m left trying to find you. Trying to find you and not succeeding. Trying to find you and finding myself more alone than ever. Trying to find you and finding that you were in no way looking for me. Trying to find you and you locked the doors behind you. Trying to find you and losing myself. Losing myself in search of the person I once told all my secrets to. Losing myself for someone in which I have lost myself while I was with them; in a mesmerizing state of happiness. Now overwhelmed in a deep state of sadness. A state of sadness because you are not what you made yourself seem to be. I find myself baffled by the situation that became of us. We were once best friends, and now we are strangers. I feel like I know you, while at the same time not knowing who you are. Left with nothing. You took it all. You took my love for you when you left me all alone. You took my respect for you when you disrespected me. You took my image of you. I don’t know who you are anymore. I don’t know who you have become. I can’t help but wonder if it was me, the person who changed you. Or was it me, the person who finally led you to show your true colors. You can’t just leave me and then come back and act like nothing ever happened. I have feelings. I’m not made of stone. I’m not at all that person that you can just up and leave when times get rough. I’m that person that you should have been able to talk to, connect with, reason with. I’m that person that could have held it down for you when things got rough. I’m that person that you don’t treat the way you treated. I’m the person you want back. That person you wish you had again. That person isn’t here anymore,.. That person has changed. Thanks to you.
Xoxo