Tags
beautiful, bittersweet, broken, bye felicia, divorce, divorced, divorcee, final judgment, happiness, happy, heartbreak, heartbroken, its over, life, life happens, live, love, love life, lust, marriage, marriage issues, new chapter, new life, sad, soulmates
These past three years of my life have been a real life roller coaster.. I have had many ups and downs, possibly more downs than ups. I’ve gone through so so many things that a lot of people don’t ever have to go through. I’ve gone through love, heartache, happiness, sadness, a huge mixture of emotions throughout the past couple of years. A huge mixture of bullshit and happiness. Today is a special day for me. A defeat in a sense. I get to walk away from it all. I get to leave all of that energy behind me, in the past. Essentially, it is in the past. It’s there but it has been haunting me recently. I felt trapped, handcuffed to it all. To all of that energy, those vibes. Today I get to leave all of that behind me and have it stay there. Have it stay there for good. Have it be there and have it not wreck my mind. Have it there and not lose sleep over it, no more crying. No more late nights, no more drowning my past in alcohol. Trying to forget. Today I will receive my final judgment for my divorce. Yes, all of that is in the past but this is an amazing feat for me. I have been carrying all of this baggage around with me. Carrying it as it got heavier and heavier. Today I get to let go. I get to release all of those emotions, all of those nightmares that I had in the past. I get to be free. I get to start a new chapter in my life. I get to leave all of this behind me and learn from my past. My past mistakes. I have lived and I have learned. I have learned so much in the past couple of years. And from today forward I will apply what I have learned in the past to my future. I have changed so much in the past couple of years and I am thankful of that. Today I am divorced.
I am officially a free woman.
And I cannot stop smiling because I have done all of this on my own. I have started this alone and I am ending this alone. With the help of no one, aside from the people of the court. I have started and finished my judgment on my own. I feel so proud of myself. Proud because besides procrastinating for the longest time I didn’t ever give up. I took some time off from this but today I am finally going to get my happy ending that I so deeply wished for.
Don’t get me wrong, I am also deeply heartbroken. Heartbroken because I would have never imagined that I would be in this predicament. I never imagined that I would have a failed marriage. I never imagined that I would be so unhappy with my life and my relationship. It is definitely a bittersweet experience but an experience nonetheless. A learning experience that turned into a journey for me. A journey for me to be able to find myself. A journey that tested me in so many different levels and capacities. I may have been near my breaking point at so many points in time throughout it all, but I never broke down. I never let it break me. I pulled on through and here I am today with many battle scars and wounds in my heart to show for it all. This day marks the closing of a chapter in my life and the beginning of a new one.
A better one.
Time to get my pen out and start writing..